Ten Rules For... Surviving the Apocalypse

Welcome to the Ten Rules series! Every other week, an author or reader will provide their Ten Rules on topics far and wide. You can expect humor, seriousness, laughter, and possibly even tears.

 

To kick off the series and because I've been watching disaster movies all week, I've asked readers and authors to provide their ultimate survival rule for the apocalypse. After a couple of survival plan debates, we've come up with Ten Rules (or reflections/pieces of advice) from readers, and Ten Rules from authors. These little pearls may or may not end in apocalypse survival, but you're guaranteed to get a good laugh out of them. And let's just say... I've laughed a lot since putting out the call for rules.

 

 

 

 

Here's what readers had to say that I could repeat in public on the apocalypse, survival, and humanity:

 

1. When you hear the word "run", haul ass. Don't look back and don't ask questions! -Khourtniey (Arkansas)
2. It'll either happen or it won't. Either way, I'll be too drunk to notice. -Jayme (Arkansas)
3. Don't eat the yellow snow. -Jen (United Kingdom)
4. Grab the cookies and Robin Thicke. If I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang! -Marita (Oklahoma)
5. I'll die trying to save all the kids. -Beth (Pennsylvania)
6. Always have a loaded shotgun and a good dog on hand.. two legged or four.. as long as they can hunt. -Jasmin (Arkansas)
7. Pfft...apocalypse. As long as I've got my best girls, firearms, and a box of cookies, I'm good. -Lisa (Ohio)
8. Keep a shotgun and a lifetime supply of twinkies. -Amy (Louisiana)
9. I'll just be grateful my life has been wonderful, and neither my daughter nor I will have to survive without the other. -Chel (United Kingdom)
10. Find my fourteen year old, because she'll know what to do. Otherwise, I'm probably screwed! -Renae (Massachusetts)

 

You notice that cookies/twinkies and guns are tied as apocalypse survival necessities, right?! This is proof positive that I do, indeed, have the coolest readers in all the land.

Now let's see what our authors had to say:

1. Don't freak out! -Krystal Wade (Author of the Darkness Falls trilogy)
2. Make sure one hot guy survives so you'll have someone to repopulate the world with. -Elia St. Anne
3. Knock over a CVS and snag some Nembutal. -Rod Kierkegaard (Author of The Department of Magic, The God Particle & Family Cursemas)
4. If it's a zombie apocalypse, befriend a dragon. If there are no nearby friendly dragons, move to another planet. -Ethan Mawyer
5. Always know where your towel is. -Eugene Teplitsky quoting Douglas Adams.
6. Um... try to head off the apocalypse before it happens. Also, befriend witches and wizards, and develop a tolerance for caves. -Amy Lynn Spitzley
7. Befriend someone with a farm and guns. I've already asked my brother if I can come stay with him in case of an apocalypse. -Sharon Bayliss (Author of The Charge)
8. Find and join a motorcycle gang - they will be the strongest assemblage, and only the strong survive. Better learn to ride! -Lisa Collicut (Author of The Devil's Flower & The Gathering Darkness)
9. You have to have a good partner! Either one who can help you or one you can trip if zombies are chasing you! ;) -Bella Leone (Author of Downpour)
10. My biggest survival rule is to find a partner for the end of the world, someone as resourceful as MacGyver, as funny as Rob Delaney, and as good of a cook as Bobby Flay. Make sure you're attracted to them, too, in case you need to repopulate the earth. -J.M. Darhower (Author of Sempre)

My advice is simple: Steal a tank and a flamethrower, and stock up on cookies and vodka. If you don't survive, you'll be too drunk and happy to care. I know I will, at least! Because, let's face it, stealing a tank would be awesome. (Disclaimer: Don't steal a tank. It's bad. Unless it's the apocalypse. In that case, find me. I'll bring the vodka, and help you steal the tank!)

 

Your turn! What's your #1 Rule for surviving the apocalypse?

xoxo,
A.K.M.

Want to guest post on the blog, interview, or write your own Ten Rules for this blog series? Email me! I'm always open to guest posts, interviews, and series participants! :)

Author Interview and Giveaway: Nina Post

Ms. Nina Post

Last week, I was offered the chance to ask Nina Post, author of One Ghost Per Serving and The Last Condo Board of the Apocalypse a few questions about writing, life, and, yes, even her best end-of-the-world advice. If you don't know Nina yet, you should. I mean, this lady knows her insidious world domination plans, you're probably going to want her on your side when the zombies attack, right?

Check out the interview below. :)

What can we expect with One Ghost Per Serving?

One Ghost Per Serving is about a father who embarks on a quest to win an unusual contest in order to pull his family back together. As you can guess from the title, there's a fantasy element to it, but even people who don't read fantasy should find a lot to like in this book. I think pretty much everyone can relate to the sort of struggles that the main character is faced with, and there's a nice supporting cast that brings its own quirks to the story. Although I included a steamy scene, there is practically no swearing in this book and my other published books. Overall, I think One Ghost Per Serving is a lot more mainstream than my first novel, and I hope it helps a wider audience discover and enjoy my writing.

Epic book of epicness

If you were to be possessed by a spirit like your hero, Eric, who would you prefer it to be?

Someone smart and sensible, whom I admire, but also someone I could overpower, like Emily Dickinson or Audrey Hepburn.

An insidious world domination plan is afoot. What's your one piece of  advice to the world?

Fight it! And buy a few of my books. They'll make for a fun diversion while the world crumbles around you.

What does a perfect day entail for you?

Everyone I love (who is still alive) is healthy and content, and I talk to them on the phone. I spend the entire day with my husband. We're in Tofino, on Vancouver Island. I make someone else's day better. I am filled with a sense of wonder. We get good news, we eat good food and drink good wine, we walk on the beach and peer into tide pools, we see a lot of birds. (Hey, maybe Chris Carter is there, surfing, and we grill some salmon on the beach with him). That night, my husband and I watch a strong storm over the ocean from the Wickaninnish Inn.

When did you realize you were a writer? Did you write in other genres first or find your niche quickly?

I started writing when I was seven, and always thought of myself as a writer. However, when I meet people on my travels, I usually keep that to myself and tell them I work as a quality control supervisor or a supply chain manager. I started writing humorous fantasy, but have recently written books outside of that genre. While I may write more fantasy novels, you can expect other genres from me, as well.

What was your most challenging writing moment?

I'm hanging on by my ankles to the Zugspitzbahn cogwheel train while a band of cyborg mercenaries  seize the lone surviving heir to the deposed Hesse throne… Actually, a specific moment doesn't come to mind, but anything I did pre-Scrivener was an organizational torment.

Have you ever had a fictional crush? If so, who was it? Why?

Many of my crushes have been fictional, as it turned out. When I was younger, I had a massive crush on David Bowie as the Goblin King. Make of that what you will.

What's the worst thing you've ever written?

I wrote a novel when I was thirteen. I don't remember much about it aside from working steadily on it, to my relief, but I'm pretty sure that was the worst thing. The stories I wrote when I was seven -- those were probably okay.

You're stuck on an island... what 3 books would you kill to have with you?

The Three Musketeers, The Complete Works of Shakespeare, and Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, to help a girl out.

Do you have a character you love to hate? If so, who is it and why?

In One Ghost Per Serving, I would say it's my villain, DZ. All he wants is to make Quantal Organic Yogurt the number one dairy brand in the world, and if that means the whole world is infected with commerce spirits, so be it. He has family money, but wants to be even wealthier -- on his own terms. He loves expensive toys, some of which he uses to make Eric's life a living nightmare. He's someone who thinks nothing of paying a famous Japanese jet-skiier to come train him for six months, or buying to play ping-pong with him. He's still angry that he grew up as the spokesperson for his family's anti-diarrhea product, and that drives a lot of his reckless behavior today.

Where else can we find you?

My website is http://www.ninapost.com. You can also find me on Twitter and Goodreads.

* * *

Thanks so much for playing along, Nina! And for the record, my daughter would love to marry David Bowie as the Goblin King, too. :)

For the rest of you... if you haven't gotten your copy of One Ghost Per Serving yet, what the heck are you waiting for?!

You can grab a copy on Amazon.com: Kindle and paperback, and on Barnes & Noble: Nook and paperback. The novel will soon be available on iBook as well.

And one lucky commenter can win a copy of the novel today, so leave Nina some love, ladies and gentlemen, because you will definitely want to read One Ghost Per Serving! :)

Buccaneer Blogfests: Reflections of a Booty Lovin' Pirate

Banner by Cody Underwood

I've seriously lacked the energy to do much reflecting recently, but have forced myself to sit down and write this post. I hope it finds all of you in good health. I've been stuffy and coughy and meh with a not-so-lovely summer cold. No fun, no fun a'tall! But enough of that! It's reflection time.

I signed on for the Buccaneer Blogfest with a less than stellar follow-through record.  I was 0 for 2 in completing a blogfest, and was determined to make it all the way through this one. As soon as I hit the Publish button on this post, I will officially have been successful in meeting that goal, though it was touch and go there for a bit.

I realized about midway through the first week that I could either blog or read blogs, but free-time wasn't going to allow me to do both. I wasn't wrong. The blogfest no more started when I got slammed with a massive project at work which required putting in extra hours, a sick nephew, home improvement projects (which are still less than half complete), and more rounds of editing for Fade. And I had about 2 weeks to get it all done before four of my favorite people flew (or drove) in for my first actual vacation (read: staycation) in 2 years. Yikes!

Measuring his Super-Heroness

It's all gravy, baby. If caring for a special kiddo like Losh while juggling college and work teaches you anything, it's that you can, in fact, be Super Woman when the need arises. Aside from the half complete home improvement projects and the cold from hell, I survived the month! And the blogfest!

Go, me!

Sadly, I'm still woefully behind on reading other participant blogs, but I am bound and determined to catch up on as many BB posts as I can in the coming days. I may be slow, but even turtles get there eventually. :)

Participating was a lot of fun, I've met a lot of amazing people, and I learned a few things along the way. Such as:

1. Train robbers wing it. Pirates plan ahead and schedule things in advance.
2. I like pictures. Lots and lots of pictures! I also save them in the most random places...
3. Scheduling posts for 12:00am (or 12:01am) makes me feel accomplished. Seriously. There's nothing like waking up the next morning, knowing that your to-do list is already down one item.
4. A pirates favorite thing to do is argh-you.
5. I like big booty-s and I cannot lie. You should like them too. And enter to win some of my booty here.

That, my loves, is a sound edumacation for a pirate, don't you think? ;)

Thanks Sharon, Courtney, and everyone who participated for a great voyage!

If you haven't had enough of my insanity just yet, never fear! I will be blogging here, there, and everywhere in the next couple of months because Fade will be released on September 7th! You should definitely join in the release festivities for a chance to win more of my booty! :)

xoxo,

A.K.M.

The "Look" Challenge from @bellaleone - Tag @krystalwade @ToiThomas @ninapost @JacquieRogers @sharonbayliss @JessaRusso @Jaleta_Clegg @EliaStAnne @MSmithBooks

I've been tagged. According to the rules, you're supposed to do a search in your work in progress for the word "look" and then paste the surrounding paragraph(s) and tag as many people as possible. Here's my teaser from Fall, the second book in the Ragnarok Prophesies series:

 “Did you get your fill of the snow?” Dad asked as Dace carried me back into the kitchen. He stood at the sink, scrubbing paint from his hands. The roller and paint cans were gone, and so was Ronan.

“Looks good, Dad,” I said, checking out the finished product. Aside from the paper tape around the trim and the new paint smell, you couldn’t even tell the wall had been a ruined mess just a few days ago. Maybe I’d be able to eat dinner without needing a blanket for once. Nice.

Dad winked at me.

“She got cold.” Dace settled me back into my chair at the table before moving into the kitchen proper. He started rifling through cabinets, pulling out mugs, cocoa mix and various other ingredients. “Did you know her eyes actually gleam when she sees snow?”

My tags: Krystal Wade, Toinette Thomas, Nina Post, Sharon Bayliss, Jacquie Rogers, Jessa Russo, Jaleta Clegg, Michelle Smith, Elia St. Anne.

xoxo,

A.K.M.

Don't forget the Fade giveaway here! Autographed copy of Fade, an ebook copy, and a wolf adoption are up for grabs. :)

Super Huge Announcement Giveaway (Buccaneer Blogfest)

Banner by Cody Underwood

I promised all of you an announcement, didn't I?

Argh you ready?

Fade's official release date is September 7, 2012! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am! We've been working toward this day for almost a year now, and it's finally right around the corner. Eep!

But wait! That's not the only announcement I have for you today!

The official trailer for Fade is finished! Check it out:

Need more? I've donated the official prologue of Fade to a charity compilation in honor of Gisela, who was killed at Comic-Con a few weeks ago. You can get the entire compilation on August 31st for a $5 donation to the Alzheimer Foundation here. That's hundreds of pages of stories (including Fade's prologue and the alternative prologue to Krystal Wade's wildly popular Wilde's Fire!) to tide you over until Fade's release on September 7th. Awesome, right?

Now for the really fun stuff. A giveaway! That's right, loves. I brought prezzies, too!

I'm giving away an autographed copy of Fade, an ebook copy of Fade, as well as adopting a gray wolf from the National Wildlife Federation in the name of one lucky winner*! And all you have to do is follow me on Twitter, like my author page on Facebook, or tweet about the contest! Easy, right?

You can enter below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Winners will be announced September 2nd, and prizes will be sent out as part of the Fade release extravaganza on the 7th.
Woohoo!

xoxo,

A.K.M.

* Wolf adoption is symbolic. Winner will not receive a wolf. Winner will receive a 6" plush wolf, a 11x14 poster, and a certification of adoption from the NWF. :)

Check out more awesome Buccaneer Blogfest giveaways below!