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Sunday, September 15, 2013

When 'I' is replaced by 'we'... #gratitude #illness

Hello, lovelies,

I hope this post finds all of you well. I've been trying to keep up with social media posts and emails, but I fear I haven't done a stellar job. So I wanted to take a minute to inform you all of what's happening in my world, and say a few important things.

As many of you are already aware, my husband (SS) is very ill. Several months ago, he began to lose weight without trying. In June, he started to become fatigued very easily. At the beginning of August, he took a turn for the worse. We soon learned he had a large mass in his right lung. After numerous tests, a biopsy, and a stay in the hospital, his doctors diagnosed him with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma which seemed to originate in the lymph nodes in his chest and spread to his lung.

We were devastated, but equally as determined to fight this. SS has always been healthy, and incredibly stubborn, so if anyone could bounce back from cancer, he could. Unfortunately, things aren't always that cut and dried. A few days after being diagnosed, we learned that this was turning out to be one of those times.

The mass in his lung is growing rapidly. In a matter of weeks, it doubled in size. So they retested some of the tissue they took during his hospital stay in August. The second time around, results indicated it was not lymphoma. This would ordinarly be fanastic news, but it's been alarming for his doctors for a whole host of reasons, all of which have led them to question if this is lymphoma, if it's some other type of cancer, or if it's another illness altogether. We've bounced from specialist to specialist over the last month, and no one has any answers.

Two weeks ago, his pulmonologist and oncologist decided the best course would be to cut him open and remove several pieces of the tumor in his lung, both to reduce some of the trauma being done to his lung, and to put it under a microscrope to figure out exactly what the hell this thing is so we can get a treatment plan in place. We scheduled the surgery for last Thursday.

On Wednesday, he went to the hospital for a battery of tests. He no more returned home, when we had to rush him back to the hospital. His blood oxygen levels were dangerously low, and there was some concern that a blood clot may have moved into his neck. They admitted him immediately and started oxygen therapy. Thankfully, the blood clot was a false alarm.

Thursday was touch and go because of his oxygen needs, but at the 11th hour, they decided to proceed with the surgery as planned. They were able to remove several good pieces of the mass for study, but it didn't really help otherwise. He wasn't pushing air into the lower chamber of his right lung, so they put him in CVICU. On Friday, they were able to move him to a step-down unit where he remains. He is slowly healing from the surgery, but when he returns home, he will more than likely do so with an oxygen tank in tow. He can no longer stand from a sitting position without his oxygen levels dropping. He's lost close to 65 pounds in the last six months, 20 in the last three weeks alone.

He now has nine doctors on his case, eight of whom are specialists from fields such as oncology/hematology, infectious diseases, pulmonology, etc, etc, etc. They still don't know what the hell this thing is, but it's seriously damaging his lung and has some sort of "weird cells" in it that no one on his team seems to have seen before. His platelet count is incredibly high, his WBC is high, the lymph nodes in his chest are all screwed up. He's easily fatigued, frequently disoriented, and constantly lightheaded.

It's frightening and incredibly frustrating. He needs to be treated, but no one know what to treat him for. So far, the results from the initial biopsy in August and the surgery on Thursday have given us more questions than answers. They're looking at every sort of cancer and infection they can think of, and nothing has panned out. Everything they've thrown at it (five rounds of antibiotics, two rounds of steroids, heavy duty anti-inflammatory meds, surgery, Heparin injections, etc) has failed to slow it down. If they can't figure out exactly what it is, they think the best course of action may be to go in and remove the entire affected portion of his lung, which is half of it at this point.

To make a long story short, the last month and a half has been a roller coaster ride for our family. One full of hospital rooms, doctors' offices, and a blur of information and overwhelming emotion. We're doing our best to keep our heads and our spirits up, and are focused on getting him well. We are confident he will beat this thing, whatever it is, and will be back to his old self soon enough.

We owe a huge debt of gratitude to you guys. Our friends, family, coworkers, readers, and fellow authors have rallied around us and taken on so many of the responsibilities we've been forced to set aside for the time being. My freezer is stocked thanks to friends, our animals are cared for, and my house continues to run more or less without any effort from me.

FALL also continues on schedule because of my beta team, my fellow authors, and the staff at Curiosity Quills. SS was adamant that FALL hit shelves in October, and I am confident that will happen despite his illness. My betas, fellow authors, and CQ have stepped in to take on so much of the behind the scenes work that goes into publishing. They have all been a god send to me, and I cannot say enough how much I appreciate it. So when FALL does hit shelves, please thank them. At this point, I think it's safe to say they will be the reason why.

We do not know what we face in the coming weeks and months, but we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we don't face it alone. And because of you guys, we know we're blessed. So thank you all for the thoughts, the prayers, and all of the love you've been sending to my hero and best friend.
Your emails and messages have been a bright spot in a very trying time for us, and I cannot tell you enough how humbled SS and I are by each of you, and how honored we are to call you guys friends.


Fade - The Ragnarok Prophesies: Book One - On Sale at: Amazon US | UK | DE | FR | IT | ES | Barnes and Noble | Kobo | Books-a-Million


  1. Sending you both prayers, love, light and healing..

  2. <3 I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Please continue to let me know about ways I can help with your release.

  3. Will pray for you and your family. Anything I can do to promote...please let me know.

  4. Your hope and faith are an inspiration . . . I'm happy to pray and promote and do whatever I can~hugs